Currently Reading White Man's Grave : A Novel By Richard Dooling see related

I wanted to include a quote from a book by Richard Dooling's called White Man's Grave...

This is about an American who moved to Sierra Leone and became fully immersed in local life.  After five years away from the US, he describes the sickening experience he had going back for a brief visit to the US.  It helps to articulate the interesting irony we find ourselves living in.

"I resolved to sit on my mother's front porch and soak up some American village life to remind myself of what I had left behind.  It was Saturday.  My mother's next-door-neighbor, a well-groomed, weight-gifted, vertically challenged accountant named Dave, brought out a leaf blower, a lawn mover, a leaf grinder, a mulcher, an edger, and a weed trimmer.  He worked all day, making a terrific racket, chopping, trimming, and spraying toxins on a small patch of ground, which produced absolutely no food, only grass.  The rest of the world spent the day standing in swamp water trying to grow a few mouthfuls of rice, while Dave sat on his porch with a cold beer admiring his chemical lawn.  Sickening?  You bet."

overwhelmed with the reality of life…underwhelmed with the reality of God

weighted with worry…devoid of wonder 

anxiousness bastardizing awe

Currently Reading The Poisonwood Bible By Barbara Kingsolver see related

The Other Face

When we think about Africa we tend to think primarily, if not exclusively about the many struggles this great continent is living through. Whether it be extreme poverty, exorbitant unemployment, illiteracy, governmental corruption, hunger, genocide, HIV/AIDS and other diseases, etc.

For many, this is Africa.

As we think along these lines, it increasingly brings us to a place of Afro-pessimism, giving those who are concerned, increasing permission to see and describe Africa for what she lacks, rather than what she has. Clearly all the above mentioned issues are occurring in mass and nothing should be done to in any way minimize their horrific reality. Thankfully, many have invested their time and talents with great passion to bring these issues to the forefront of public concern. For this we are deeply grateful. Their ability to dramatize well the suffering of our African brothers and sisters is to be celebrated.

Yet with this said, we also can never allow these issues to become the only thing people associate with Africa…as though Africa is synonymous with suffering and nothing more. For in this land exists men and woman of great faith, hope, and love, where not only their circumstances but also their ability to give of themselves courageously and sacrificially within these circumstances transcend our ability to comprehend.

This is the other face of Africa.

A face that when we have a chance to look deep within her eyes enables us to not only see all the horrific suffering she has and continues to experience, but also the unwavering resilience with which she lives within these trying circumstances. For we find that she is deeply aware and affected by all the above mentioned horrors, yet has chosen to not allow herself to become despairing and debilitated by them.

This is I have increasingly become enamored with.  For it is a face scared by suffering yet resolute with hope.

And when we allow our gaze to fix itself upon this face of our Africa brothers and sisters, we are confronted with just how deeply she cares for her people and how competent she is to respond to the many needs within her midst. So we join her in the wake of her concern, serving in ways that honor the reality that God’s presence preceded our response, and all along being foundationally committed to the notion that Africa’s hope rest largely on the shoulders of Africa’s church.

This commitment has many practical manifestations…perhaps more to come.

Currently Reading The World Is Flat: A Brief History of the Twenty-first Century By Thomas L. Friedman see related

When I think about some of the cores that shape who I am, some of the most dominant / obvious ones that comes to the surface would be a learner / teacher.  I love to constantly be engaging new ideas, interacting with what others are considering, and challenging myself to understand issues more broadly.   With this said, it is not satisfying as a solitary experience.  Over the last several years my learning has been very obviously tied to communal experiences.  The justice group, guys justice conversation, and learning forum are the most clear manifestations of this.  To this point these engagements have taken more of a conversational / personally or communal explorational approach.  I think this is something core to who I am as I am less drawn toward preparing something to walk people through A to B.  Rather I use outside voices where there is a collective interaction over them and facilitate learning via this medium.  With this said, I have not had much of a chance to function in a “content” teaching position and I intuitively do the former rather than the later.  Some of this is driven by my own conceptions (rightly or wrongly) of my understanding of the issues as part of this method recognizes that I have much to learn from others and thus want to create a forum for such an exchange.  More negatively it may be driven by some conception of inadequacy and thus I do not give myself enough credit for what I understand. 

These categories come up primarily as I think about what vocation I would function best in.  Relational learning seems to be that rather than the up-front lecturer.  While I would enjoy the challenge as lecturer, I could see it as quite fatiguing given my personality.  With that said it would still be a good learning experience.

Another thing I am seeing more and more of is a loyalist style of leadership that leans more heavily on one on one interaction.  I don’t enjoy moving quickly from person to person.  But in the way I long to / need to go deep with the above mentioned “intellectual curiosities”…such is my way of engaging relationally.  Some understandings of leadership efficiency would have critiques of this approach, but I am becoming more convinced that conversation / and shared experience are the forum upon which this sacred thing called disciplining people takes place. It is permeated by vulnerability, authenticity, pointedness, trust, deep care and respect, along with the allowance for failure.  In fact I am beginning to see the allowance for failure as the path way toward transformation, for as people are walked with through this, it creates the greatest opportunity for self-discovery. 

I am also beginning to see that notions of excellence has more to do with relationships than with end products.  That in some way tasks become opportunities for togetherness rather than distance.  For if the individual “fails” and discerns the disappointment within you as the leader and through this discernment realizes that you see his blemish primarily as something that reflects a lack in you, you will lose his loyalty and trust.  This is much like the notion where your parents are disappointed when you do something bad because of the way it negatively reflects upon them…there is no room for this way of thinking in leading.  Your primary concern is toward the one you are walking with regardless of the consequences.  If he goes down you go down with him.  Your reputation is his and his yours.  Indeed reputation is itself something communal rather than individual.  It seems Jesus understood his relationships in this manner.  All this to say, this is merely a way for me to try to communicate what I would call leadership solidarity which I think might be one of the most empowering concepts I have recently discovered.  There are many reasons why this is so difficult to achieve, but its difficulty does not diminish its necessity. 

Along this line, I see micromanaging and solidarity to be diametrically opposed concepts.  Micromanaging is profoundly dehumanizing as it is a creative stifler.  It reeks of distrust and if this becomes your reality, you will become both a work-alcoholic along with an isolationist.  A work-alcoholic because you will have to constantly correct what is lacking in the work of others and as you do this, their incentive to do their work well will diminish for the unachievableness of your standards will quickly become fatiguing.  Not to mention the anticipation of your managing will mute their desire and willingness to give more of themselves.  All this will make you a lonely leader (which is itself an oxymoron) for no one will be willing to spend themselves for whatever you are inviting (controlling) them to participate in.  Control and leading are incompatible realties leading to the death of those you think you are leading.